Justifiably Paranoid

Most of us have heard some version of the adage, "Show me your company and I'll tell you who you are" whose elusive roots have been attributed to sources as diverse as the Bible and Vladimir Lenin.  In America, prior to the end of the 20th century the "who you are" mostly concerned one's moral standing.  Interlocutors wanted to know who could and could not be trusted, for instance.  In your great-grandparents' day, average citizens rarely were interested in details regarding minutiae of your sexuality or politics. That did not seem important to most of them.  By default, people passively were accepted as having some complex qualities and preferences that were "nobody else's business." That attitude promoted cultural norms that encouraged accepting people as they were in the here-and-now.  A new acquaintance need not pass some overarching litmus test that incorporated a host of criteria about irrelevant personal preferences, such as gender b...

  “Don’t ask, don’t tell” was the colloquial term for official U.S. military policy from 1993 to 2011.  What was that all about?  Americans born on or before about 1973 probably remember—it concerned the armed forces approach to what then unapologetically was termed “homosexuality”.  Actually, the entire policy was “don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t pursue, and don’t harass,” and it was President Bill Clinton’s and the Legislature’s way simultaneously to both address and avoid the issue. The policy is one obvious example of questioning and answering influences on human psychology and interpersonal relationships.  All people personally are inclined to ask about some issues and to avoid others.  Knowing those inclinations of your own can empower you to make good decisions.  For instance, given the current toxic social environment, most of us have learned to be very circumspect about what formerly would have been casual, harmless political questions and...

  "Follow the science" is the premier attention-grabbing meme used by popular media to inspire confidence in whatever is presented next.  The phrase amounts to a slightly more nuanced version of the renowned "evidenced-based science" appellation.  How might those characterizations affect you and your decisions?   You probably do sit-up and take notice, especially if the information promotes your preexisting confirmation bias. But perhaps that is understandable, since, after all, the media reports proceed from "science" and/or "evidence-based science." Let's, for this posting, restrict our considerations to research that is reasonable science and that truly is evidence-based.  I specify that because much widely disseminated media-promoted research eventually is revealed to be illegitimate research.  For instance, many of us vividly remember reading or hearing about bogus Cornell University research suggesting that you will eat less food if it ...

  Questioning & Answering: How, Who, When, & Where  Paperback – January 10, 2023 by  Dr. Peter James McCusker   (Author)   It's a simple question, right? Wrong ! There are no simple questions and no simple answers. If you think so, you set yourself up for disappointment and failure. At minimum, questions and answers have multiple, layered implications. They all say something about you, about the person with whom you are communicating, and about your relationship together. Dr. McCusker asserts that “…questions are bridges from ignorance to knowledge. Questions are bridges to answers, and answers are bridges to further questions. Questions, therefore, are cognitive, emotional, and interpersonal bridges from idea to idea and from person to person. Without questions and answers to them, conversation would be parallel monologues. Questions and answers take us from monologue to dialogue—from social isolation to interpersonal connection. Ima...

As with all blogposts, this one will resonate strongly, moderately, mildly or not at all with some of you.  Please note that although I am using the United States armed forces as the central organizing element, you can deduce obvious and important non-military conclusions from what I write here.  Although I will try to be as objective as I can, having spent four years as a Marine, you legitimately can question some of what I am about to say.  During my psychology practice of over 40 years, I have treated thousands of patients with all kinds of cognitive and emotional challenges.  Many were veterans from World War II, Korea, Viet Nam, and the Middle East.  Only those from “Nam” returned to face jeers, bias, or indifference.  And, although I have heard the same basic complaint from all veterans of all the wars, those from Viet Nam have voiced it most often and most stridently. The complaint is about being told “Thank you for your service.”  Surprised?...

If you read this blog post to the end, you will have read one unlike any I ever have written. My goal is not political. I am using China only because the subject is current and likely to have some emotional resonance with most people. The blogpost's genesis can be traced to my discussion with someone who regards any unflattering talk about the Chinese as racist, as attempting to elevate those who subscribe to “traditional American values,” and as denigrating everyone non-American.  For that reason, here I have chosen to cite only liberal, “progressive” sources for the data about China to which I refer.  Most of what follows merely are my literal quotes to information readily available to you from the URLs and webpages listed.  I must underscore, again, that I am not writing this as a political statement, but rather as a way to encourage you to think about general emotion-charged pro- or anti- opinions that you automatically entertain.  You see, as a psychologist, I a...

Sometimes, the most important mental activity is not what you think, but what you think about what you think. Let's unpack that contention. Suppose you are walking along the avenue, and a friend drives past.  You wave and your friend does not acknowledge you.  Your automatic thought is "What's wrong with him?" You then proceed to thinking: "The last time we talked, he asked me to come over to his house to help him, and I declined. I bet he's still irritated about that” You then might think about something else while retaining the belief in your friend's irritation. You also could ruminate about your friend not-waving-to-you problem for minutes, hours, or days. When you see your friend again, you mention that you waved and he did not respond, and he answers, "Oh, I don't remember seeing you."  At that point you could accept his explanation, be satisfied, and banish the not-waving-incident from your mind. However, it also is possible that you ...